How To Be Authentic

Life Without Authenticity

The journey of life is a wild and exciting ride especially when we know how to be authentic. But for some of us, that ride seems more like walking straight into a brick wall and jumping headfirst into a tar pit. Bumping your head and getting stuck all the time leaves you feeling like happiness is an illusion. In fact, these experiences make life flat out suck!

Real vs. Fake

I have come to discover that my struggle with real happiness was due to a great number of things. One, in particular, was inadequate authenticity. People in our personal lives, as well as social media, have a profound influence on our individuality. Popularity has always been a superficial way to measure success, hence the reason why those who “appear” to be doing well are automatically labeled as successful.

After all, who doesn’t want to fit in with the in-crowd? Very authentic people, that’s who!

But being authentic doesn’t mean you can’t like the same things that others do. It also doesn’t mean that you can’t like what’s trendy either. And it definitely doesn’t mean that you won’t find people who have plenty of similarities as you too.

The magic tips for authenticity revolve around your ability to put your personal spin on whatever it is and do what makes you happy.

Searching for the truth.

In life, we all go through a series of conditioning. Most of our conditioning comes from what we are taught as kids, stuff we pick up from our peers, and personal experiences. Therefore it’s natural for us to go through life heavily relying on our upbringing.

Plus the experiences that shape us make it hard to relearn what we think we already know. Sometimes, we realize that most of who we are isn’t who we really are at all! You make the gut-wrenching discovery that you’re not as genuine as you thought when you are living a life full of regrets.

Okay, so how in the halibut do I become authentic? The process is a simple writing exercise, however, it might not necessarily be easy. And that’s okay because I’m here to walk you through it.

Write everything about yourself.

We’ll discover authenticity easiest by writing down all of your characteristics. But, we are going to start with the hard part first, ya know. Just to get it done and out of the way. What’s the hard part? I thought you’d never ask! (lol)

FLAWS! Yup, those less-than-desirable characteristics that we all possess. We’re about to jot those little nasties down real quick and show ’em some love!

Then, after we’re done with the flaws, next is the fun part. Writing down your good characteristics. Yay! I don’t know about you but it feels good to get some appreciation for your fine qualities (even if it is from yourself)!

Are you ready to become authentic? Yeah, I thought so. Okay CLGs, let’s go grow and glow!

Learn your flaws and own them.

Nobody’s perfect, and I mean no one. In truth, everybody has flaws or characteristics that we are less than proud of. However, trying to dismiss these imperfections as if they aren’t there does more damage to your character than good.

I know it’s scary as hell to admit imperfection but it’s all part of the journey to your better self. So instead of acting like your shit don’t stank, fully embrace those flaws.

Write them down and take a close look at each one. How do your flaws make you feel? How do others react to your flaws? How many areas or people in your life are affected by these flaws? Is it something that I can change? For example…

My Flaws

I criticize others harshly.

This makes me feel bad because it hurts their feelings.

People get angry instead of taking my criticism as constructive.

This flaw has a negative effect because others focus on defending themselves instead of adhering to the given advice.

Not sure how to find the courage to write down the first flaw? That’s okay. Remember, nobody has to see this list. It is strictly for your own personal growth.

Now, after getting them all written down, tell yourself that it’s okay to have them. If they are something you can work on, do it. One. Day. At. A. Time.

If you managed to write at least one icky flaw, GOOD JOB! You can wipe the sweat off your brow and move on to the good stuff.

Recognize your strengths and enhance them.

Your strengths! Ahh, it makes you feel so powerful when you say it, right? Let’s write them down and take a close look at each one. How do your strengths make you feel? How do others react to your strengths? How many areas or people in your life benefit from the strengths you have? For example…

My Strengths

My ability to stay calm in stressful situations.

This makes me feel in control of my actions gives me the ability to solve problems in uncertain situations.

Other people feel relaxed around me when I stay calm.

This benefits others because it makes them feel safe.

Write down as many as you can even if you can’t apply it to an actual event. Just know, it doesn’t matter how many strengths you have. The point is to focus solely on what makes you a better person.

State your specialty.

What’s different about you? What about you makes the people you know say “Wow!” or “Cool!”? Can you juggle? Do you make the best lasagna out of all the other moms in the PTA circle? How is your DIY game? Are you great with kids (yeah even the little badass ones that don’t listen to anybody)? Maybe you’ve been told you twerk the best!

Whatever your thing is, remember it’s your thing that makes you the awesome you.

Now that you have your list, you can add to it when you think of more things you probably forgot about.

Allow others to be authentic.

There’s nothing worse than friends or family who force you to look and act the way they want you to. And you’re like “Helloo! I ain’t nobody’s puppet, okay?”

Do however realize there is a difference between people making an attempt to help you improve who you are as a person versus those who don’t accept your individuality.

A major part of your authenticity is allowing others to be authentic too. We’ve all seen it before. You know, the group of friends that has that one oddball (which is me in my group of friends). If we were alike, the world would be so dang boring and we wouldn’t know the meaning of fun.

Accepting the differences in other people helps them to accept the differences in you too. The world is a plethora of differences. Whether it’s sizes or colors, moving or stationary, people or nature, to be different is a natural part of life on earth.

Final Thoughts

I hope this post was helpful to you on your mission to reach authenticity. Accept the light and dark side of yourself, embrace your specialty, and allow others to be the real version of themselves. Have faith and courage and you’ll reach your highest self before you know it!

I sincerely encourage you to try it out, keep moving forward, and do what works for you. Good luck and thanks for reading!

How To Be Authentic