7 Big Relationship-Seeking Mistakes
So many people, not enough perfect matches?
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Do you know there are approximately 7.8 billion people in the world? As of the end of 2020, there were roughly 330 million people in the United States. With that being said, at least half are single and half of those singles are looking for a meaningful relationship. After all, most of us are hardwired to be in a genuinely loving, and enduring romantic relationship. Luckily, I have listed 7 big relationship-seeking mistakes plus corrections.
That doesn’t sound like a lot but when you think about it, that’s 83 million people in search of true love! In a technological world, more and more people can connect with others around the globe. Sure, finding a date is much simpler these days because of internet dating and social media sites.
However many singles are still struggling severely when it comes to developing and maintaining a real relationship. I too used to be amongst the crowd. Just like everyone else, I was so sick and tired of faulty relationships.
That led me to perform a major self-inspection and I’ve discovered I was making 6 out of 7 of these mistakes myself! Once I knew the root of the problem, I was quickly able to make corrections. So, now I want to reveal 7 big relationship-seeking mistakes along with their corrections.
There is someone for everyone
The right person is out there. I believe that to be a fact. Unfortunately, having a smorgasbord of choices doesn’t do a lick of good when so many people are missing the key components of how to sustain a seriously committed relationship.
Now let’s go over 7 big relationship-seeking mistakes and corrections to help make your future relationship quest a success.
7 Big Relationship-Seeking Mistakes
Big Relationship Seeking Mistake #1
Physical Attraction
Ahh yes… The well-put-together, good-smelling, you get the idea. Needless to say, the first thing we notice is physical. It’s natural! It plays a key role in getting involved with someone and it’s all we have to go on initially. Being physically attracted to your person of interest has its advantages.
Who doesn’t want someone sexy to call their own? I sure as hell do! Unfortunately, it can alter your perception of someone and how you treat them. Many folks accept scummy treatment and disrespect because they are glorifying their newfound sexy partner.
Or, you’re being treated like an object instead of a person with a functioning brain and real feelings. Whether it’s you or them, a true love relationship cannot survive on sexiness alone. No matter how hard we might want it to!
How to correct this mistake?
Look beneath the packaging. I know how tempting it is to eagerly accept a fine-ass person’s romantic advances. Even though the wrapping is beautiful, it could be large clumps of crud inside.
However, my personal experience has taught me to start peeling those layers back to see if the beauty runs deeper than the surface. Forcing them to be “The One” usually leads to a disastrous relationship.
So don’t hesitate to dismiss them if they aren’t a right fit. Physical attraction shouldn’t be the ace in your dating game. Never let physical attraction override mental, emotional, or spiritual needs, no matter what.
Big Relationship Seeking Mistake #2
Financial and/or Social Status
Financial Status – Here is another qualification that is important to just about all of us. Having good financial standing is more than just an attractive trait to most people, it’s how we can sustain ourselves in this material world.
Struggling to make ends meet can easily cause problems if you’re single. So you can imagine the tidal waves it can create in the sea of love. Therefore, it’s no secret the more money you have to manage, the more comfortable your (love) life can be.
And I believe everyone should be able to live in comfort. Building a relationship solely on someone’s bank account, however, can leave you feeling broke in more ways than one.
Social Status – Having a high social status is also greatly sought after. Huge popularity on Facebook/Instagram or rubbing elbows with the crème de la crème has the same desired effect as large sums of cash.
It makes people believe, that is the person to know, they are adored by everyone, and to get involved with them is a privilege and an honor. All can be very true. But beware, you may find an empty shell stuffed with glitter, glam, and no heart.
How to correct this mistake?
Do your research. This is the same as peeling back those layers. Take time to look deeper into who the person is despite all of the money.
Make sure you get an exclusive sneak peek of the socialite behind the scenes. Take note of how they behave in normal scenarios. Pay attention to where you stand with them.
Are you treated like a living, breathing person or like someone being paid to stay? Are you getting priority time or is your time being shared with likes and followers? If you want love to be heartfelt, ditch the idea of hooking up with Shallow “Money-bags” Sam or Superficial Ivan the Influencer. Speaking of shallow…
Big Relationship Seeking Mistake #3
3. Having Shallow Things in Common
Sharing common interests is great. It makes hanging out with your partner easier and you are more likely to have tons of fun too. On the other hand, it’s possible that fun ends when you realize your relationship interests are not the same.
For example. You meet and most of the conversations early on are all about likes and dislikes. You listen to the same music. You love tamales and baseball. Your favorite season is winter. You have the same sense of humor and you both think the color orange is ugly.
This sounds like the ultimate match on the surface, however, none of that proves two people are meant to be! In reality, this isn’t much to determine how your new kickin’ it buddy will behave in a serious relationship. Therefore using common interests alone may not be the best choice when looking for someone to commit to.
How to correct this mistake?
Look for core values and beliefs in common. One way to find out if your core values and beliefs are similar, you and your partner should be in person and write them down on a sheet of paper, then exchange sheets. Facetime or video chat each other your lists work too!
This keeps the other person from just saying “Me too!” after you tell them what you truly believe in. You’d be surprised how many people put superficial things down or hardly write anything at all.
This is because they are either selfish people who mold themselves to appear agreeable to their potential partner or they simply don’t know what they value or believe in. If it’s the latter, there is still great potential for a relationship, so use your better judgment as to what should happen next.
Either way, never settle on a serious relationship just because you have superficial commonality or mediocre benefits. Always look for a moral match.
Big Relationship Seeking Mistake #4
Incorrect Compromise
Compromising is a crucial element in a healthy relationship. Sometimes, you might have to go to that boring art gallery or hike through that everlasting trail in the woods.
Giving up going out all the time and staying with the family is healthy for quality time. Buying a coffee machine instead of going to Dunkin Donuts/Starbucks every day can do more than just save money on coffee. It can save gas and time too. These types of compromises are good deals.
But when you are told to compromise your loyalty or your dignity (core values and beliefs), these are red flags.
How to correct this mistake?
Know yourself. Be solid on your morale. If you aren’t sure of what that is, take some time to learn. Ask yourself what you truly believe is right and wrong. This links with having shallow things in common. The difference is you can compromise common interests but never bend on anything you value.
The person you’re in a relationship with should have similar if not the same values and beliefs. This should be equally important to them and they shouldn’t consider wavering as well.
This makes it easier to determine what’s acceptable and what’s not when it comes to compromising between you two.
Big Relationship Seeking Mistake #5
Being Fake or Molding Yourself Around The Other Person
Being fake or molding yourself is when you pretend to have the same likes, dislikes, favorites, pet peeves, quirks, etc. as the other person has just to make a closer connection.
Some have gone as far as claiming to have the same values, beliefs, and life goals. This happens too often. Especially when there are those with selfish intentions of taking advantage of kindhearted people.
How to correct this mistake?
Be Authentic. Never pretend to be somebody you’re not just to be with someone. Whoever you are, I believe with all of my heart that there is someone out there for you. And believe that person is looking for your authenticity also! Being genuine in the beginning is much easier than keeping up a lie. Besides, lying to form something solid should be against your core beliefs!
Big Relationship Seeking Mistake #6
Moving Too Fast
This mistake coincides with having shallow things in common. These same shallow things are used interchangeably as the reason to rush into a relationship. You know the drill. Long hours into the night spent conversing, can’t seem to break away whenever you get together, and those consistent, happy-go-lucky thoughts of them create a large sense of comfort.
Hitting it off strong is surely a good sign that there is compatibility. Time flies when you’re having fun, but it’s not flying as fast as you think. It’s still early on. Meanwhile, all of the fun being had does not prepare one for the times when two people disagree and argue.
How to correct this mistake?
Take your time. Never rush or be rushed into a relationship when you are still getting to know someone. So many people have rushed in because they “vibed” with each other. Vibing with someone can be pretty easy especially if you or they are a likable person. With that said, it’s important to invest time.
You want to get to know the person on as many levels as possible. Analyze how they would treat a waiter who gets the food order wrong or how they act when someone needs help. If you have a child/ren, do you agree with their style of parenting? Does it complement yours?
It’s not possible to know every single thing about a person, even after a few years. However, giving yourself time to learn about them helps to choose if they will be good for you and prevent too many unpleasant surprises in the future.
Big Relationship Seeking Mistake #7
Loneliness
So many people are in shaky, no-good relationships because they are afraid of being alone. Lots of times, boredom is mistaken for being lonely.
So people rush off to find someone to fill the void and now they discover that all they want is somebody to hang out with. In other words, create a distraction to take away the boredom.
How to correct this mistake?
Love and live for yourself. Learning how to love yourself and live with yourself can be challenging, especially since some learn that they don’t even like themselves. The harsh discovery of realizing you may not be that likable or that you are everyone’s doormat is not easy to accept.
Therefore, focus on becoming your best and highest version. Healthy people make healthy choices. Sometimes a deep internal cleansing is in order. Take care of yourself emotionally and mentally. Incorporate some “me time” into your lifestyle if not your daily routine. Practice any kind of spiritual gratitude for inspiration to become a better person.
When you are living life from a place of self-love, you are least likely to accept any old random to be in your company. Furthermore, you will attract other self-loving people.
Final Thought
I hope you have found these 7 big mistakes and their corrections helpful. Everyone who is looking for true love deserves that love to be the best. I read this relationship book years after I discovered what I was doing wrong (shaking my head). But the information in this book matched my personal experiences to a tee. Thus, I highly recommend!
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I sincerely encourage you to try these out, keep moving forward, and do what works for you. Good luck and thanks for reading!
