4 Basic Tips on How to Choose a Partner
Lucky in love or awful amour?
Dating… Ugg! For some, it’s as easy as breathing air and they find the perfect partner after only a few tries. Luck has struck with the special few who get it right the first time. They may already know about the 4 basic tips on how to choose a partner.
As for others, it’s more like being sucked into a hellish time loop. A typical losing contestant in the dating game. Correct me if I’m wrong but I believe it goes a little something like this…
You find someone that interests you. Things are going well for a while and then the next thing you know you’re knee-deep in emotional turmoil and neck-deep in guilty obligation. Soon the relationship is over…if you’re lucky. If not, it seems you’ve signed up for an eternity of misery.
Bad Breakup Blues
Now you find yourself back at square one, single. You’re feeling lonely and confused. Maybe you’re heartbroken and wondering how you messed things up. You’re probably pissed because you’ve invested so much time (and money). Or worse…. you’re on the rebound! Only then do you discover how much you suck at picking the right person to start a relationship with!
I do have good news. There are truly 4 basic tips on how to choose a partner. The right one, that is. I have personally used these tips and had great results. I also asked other happily married couples about what made their union important and these 4 basic tips pretty much came at the top of the list. But first. . .
Pop Quiz! Who, what, when, where, why, how, and wtf??
I’m pretty sure you’re wondering, what the f*ck is a pop quiz doing in here? 🤔 Trust me, I will get to the 4 basic tips. And if you’re for real about choosing the right partner, you will thank me for this! So, before we jump into them, let’s start with a brief six-question prerequisite.
What, when, where, how, who, and for the sake of all that’s good, why. These famous six questions will give you a deeper understanding and absolute direction when applying the 4 basic tips.
Six prerequisites on how to choose a partner
What?
What do you expect to get out of a relationship? In other words, what are you looking for? Do you want something serious that will possibly turn into a marriage or are you going for a fling thing? Whatever type of relationship you’re looking for must be the focal point of your search.
When?
When do you want it? Or better yet, when should you start dating? If you’ve been single for over a year, you probably feel like it’s a good time to start taking candidates. However, if you’ve recently (6 months or less) broken up with someone you were in a long-term (2-3 years or more) relationship with, it may not be an ideal time to start dating. Whenever you do decide to date again, make sure it’s on your time and not anyone else’s.
Where?
Where do you start? Should you try online dating apps or check out the cutie on social media? Or perhaps you want to “just meet” the old-school way. Maybe you’ve been there and done ALL of that and you’d try something new to yourself, like speed dating. Wherever you begin is up to you. Know that dating is about finding a compatible partner that will compliment you in the manner of what you’re searching for.
How?
How do you date? Sounds like a silly question but think about it for a second. Do you have dating rules or are you an “anything goes” type? Are you looking for your date to take you out and pay? Are you a Netflix and chill kind of dater? Do dinner and a movie sound ideal or do you want to go to a museum or a carnival? Guess what, you might like all of these! Knowing how you date is important because it can help you narrow down what kind of partner you’re going to get involved with.
Who?
Who do you want to date? I know, I know. That sexy mofo you can’t seem to get out of your head, that’s who! Lol Well, yes. Unfortunately, we are not talking physically here. This question is based more on the character of the sexy mofo. Do you feel this person is worthy enough to invite into your personal life?
There are a lot of “whos” out there. Some folks are good and some are bad. You even have those who are in between. Needless to say, nothing is wrong with getting to know many different types of people on a general level. But it’s up to you to know which ones are meant to become a part of your private circle.
Why?
Why do you want a serious or non-serious relationship? Yeah. How often do you ask yourself that question? Are you lonely and just want somebody around (be careful with this one if you’re looking for something serious)? Are you a hopeless romantic searching for true love? Do you feel you have something incredible to offer and would thrive being in a loving relationship?
Are you not genuinely interested in something serious? You don’t have time to commit fully to someone? Or you could just be an old playa ready for something steady! You gotta know why you want what you’re looking for. Things are subject to change in the future but going in with set intentions will help choose the better person for yourself from the start.
Be serious about what you’re doing.
No matter if you are looking for a serious or non-serious relationship, be very serious about it with yourself and your potential partner. If you have foggy plans or can’t decide on straight answers for these six prereqs, that’s okay. I sincerely advise against anyone rushing things when it comes to any kind of relationship.
It’s perfectly normal to be confused for a while, especially if you have had a traumatic dating life or a recent bad breakup. Choosing your own pace will drop the disaster rate.
4 Basic tips on how to choose a partner
Listed here are 4 basic tips on how to choose a partner. If you want a loving healthy marriage or occasional flirty fun, it is important to be on the same page with whomever it is you find yourself interested in.
1. Moral Compatibility
Moral compatibility is common core values and beliefs that are the same in different people. What are some common core values and beliefs? Honesty. Trustworthy. Loyalty. Respect for Others. Accountability. Appreciation and generosity. Family-oriented and traditions also top the list. Common core values and beliefs usually reveal the real character behind the representative that is presented upon meeting.
Despite different interests, having the same core character will help you create a longer-lasting relationship. And yes, this certainly does apply to those of you who are in search of fun flirty freedom. The other person has to have the same “no strings attached” idea about a relationship as you do in order for things to run smoothly.
2. Know Yourself
Knowing yourself is important for initial encounters. If it’s important to you, it should be important to your partner (considering the circumstances). If living a healthy lifestyle through diet and exercise is an absolute must, do not accept someone whose daily habits are junk food and no physical activity. Compromise shouldn’t come in the form of exing out parts that contribute to your best version of yourself.
If you aren’t quite sure of yourself, give yourself a chance to grow and experience life. Pay attention to what you discover about yourself during these times. There are many good relationships that grow apart just because the two people changed in opposite directions. Therefore it’s best to know who you are when looking for someone to invite into your life.
3. Don’t Settle.
Settling is what I call the easy route. In all honesty, it’s more like giving up or telling yourself that you aren’t worthy of what you desire. Sometimes you fall into settling without even noticing. And most of us don’t realize it, but making decisions is kind of hard! This is where the five prerequisites come in handy.
You will know where and when you’ll like to start, who you’re looking for, how you want that person to treat you, what you expect from the relationship, and why you expect it. This helps to keep you in check when searching for a companion and takes the guesswork out of choosing the best person for yourself.
4. Take Your Time.
Taking your time is the most important when it comes to choosing someone. Your entire well-being depends on you making the wisest decisions for yourself. Pay attention to your gut feelings. Use your intuition as best you can. If you really like someone, don’t let your emotions or your physical attraction run the show.
Sure it’s easy to say but, give yourself more credit. At least try to maintain. People can be fickle in many ways, so slow down (say it in slow motion lol) and use the six-question prereqs to assess the situation. Nothing really good comes really easy and you know it so, stand firm and hold your ground. You got this!
Final Thoughts
I hope these 4 basic tips are helpful to you in choosing who you are searching for. Look for similarities on a moral level, know who you are as an individual, don’t settle for anything less, and take your time with choosing. Remember you are allowed to follow your own mind and act on what’s best for you.
I sincerely encourage you to try it out, keep moving forward, and do what works for you. Good luck and thanks for reading!
